Sweet Monotony

Feeding
Feeding Burping
Feeding Burping Changing
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Cooing
Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking Sleeping
Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking Sleeping Waking
Cooing Fussing Rocking Sleeping Waking
Fussing Rocking Sleeping Waking
Rocking Sleeping Waking
Sleeping Waking
Waking
Thought the order may change,
The motions are the same.
Regardless of time,
Regardless of day,
My life
And the life of my baby's
Is made up of the same movements
over and
over and
over again.
It is exhausting
For both of us.
I sometimes long for a change. . . does she?
But then I remember that
Music is made
Using the same seven notes in variation.
And only twenty-six letters combine
to create poems, and plays, and masterpieces.
I realize that monotony can create miracles.
So I will go through the motions with my baby
And we will dance
Through the pages
of our own story.

I found this in a book my mom gave me about motherhood, "Unlikely Truths of Motherhood." This describes so much how I am feeling right now. Sometimes it is so exhausting and monotonous. I told Chuck that between feeding the baby all day and running Cayden and Emma back and forth from school, soccer, and dance I feel like all I am is a milk cow and shofer. But as I bathed Gracie this morning at 6:00 am (cause she had thrown up all over herself) and she looked up at me and gave me a huge smile filled with trust and safety and love, I realized that I am creating a miracle. She is our miracle, and I have the honor of partnering with my Heavenly Father to help her create her story. And just as my Heavenly Father will always be there for me, I will always be there for her. Even when it is tiring and hard and emotional and monotonous. And I will find joy, because I am helping to create a miracle in the life of my sweet baby girl.